Twin - Mark I'm back-F20 / The darkness of schizophrenia

... The world around me suddenly lost its axis. As if it suddenly disintegrated into meaningless forms and shapes, as if I ceased to exist, or that I did not live, just as the camera shakes the fragments of a world full of frosty silence.... Marek is my twin and shortly after his twentieth birthday he came into our family life shock along with sadness. The postman rang and brought a letter from Australia. I remember that wording and my parents' reactions to this day, and I'll probably remember it even for the rest of my life, Marek wanted to take his own life and took the letter as a farewell to us. After returning to Slovakia, hell awaited him in our hospitals. The electric shocks made him unrecognizable and visits to that environment were a nightmare. My psyche was shaken to its foundations and all relationships were shattered. I found out that we are very connected to each other. The symptoms of schizophrenia /F20/ appeared more than 30 years ago. His illness became chronic. The brother alternated between several psychiatric clinics, medicine, electroshock therapy. He attempted suicide. It was only after many years that his condition stabilized and he was able to return home. He currently lives with his parents. She takes care of a dog, aquarium fish and exotic birds. When he feels better, he shows signs of a sense of humor—laughing and planning. When he feels bad, he suffers from anxiety, curled up in a ball. He is learning to correct those voices of demons, but sometimes they are stronger... Marek fights for himself every day. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day... This project is about him, me and my parents. It is a personal probe into the intimate world of a family struggling with a serious illness. And believe me, schizophrenia in this form will get you even if you defend yourself with all-powerful forces. The family had to learn to live with demons and give up many personal pleasures. Parents became the only support for the brother, who otherwise avoids people. I don't know what will happen next and whether I will photograph it all, for now I only know one thing, that it is the most complicated photograph you can imagine...